My Modern Day God

The idols of today, are unlike the ones of ancient times for those idols seem more straightforward and less complicated. Nowadays, idols are different for each person, and have become more hidden and personal. They might not include kneeling in worship or animal sacrifices, but they do direct us away from God and bog our hearts down with earthly concerns and desires. I have this thinking pattern that if I have access to something I am wasting it if I am not utilizing it's full capacity. And somewhere down the line this belief turned into 'if I spent all this money then I should be using it as much as I can.' Breastfeeding gave me the excuse to do just that, but it permeated into other facets of my time.

My moment of conviction came when I unknowingly knocked my phone into a soapy bowl of water. (I had been checking a recipe on facebook while cooking.) I was flooded with the feeling of disappointment, self anger, foolishness, sadness to near depression, and worry upon discovering what I had done. After a day of prayer, meditation and feeling terrible, I realized that my phone and social media had become an idol to me. I felt convicted by the Spirit to fast from facebook and I knew the best way for me to follow through with that conviction was to get a cheap phone that couldn't support the apps I had on my old phone. "Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free." (Psalm 118:5) I am on my phone less and after a week of being off of facebook, I am giving myself once a week to go on it. I realize that things (God's blessings) are not bad of themselves but "his blessing bring us wealth and not pain or toil." (Proverbs 10:22) I got to a point where I would pick up my phone and just be nauseous and feel gross like I hadn't changed my clothes in three days; I would get headaches, hand cramps and eye pain. Since fasting and having a lesser phone, all of those things have gone away. Reflecting back and reflecting on how I feel now, I can say that I feel a new freedom I had available to me all along but never utilized (Matthew 11:28-30). Now I am free from a mental bondage and emotional burden that had controlled me and trapped me in my addiction.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)