A Thankful heart

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."                                           (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Have you ever witnessed a judgmental person responding to a job done not to their satisfaction?  It is disheartening to watch and you can’t help but feel powerless. In a situation like this, most of us will do one of two things--clam up and internalize it or lash out and be defensive. Let's imagine the judgmental party to be a wife and the other person to be her husband. I can only guess that a husband in such a situation like this would feel powerless and unappreciated, for example.  Such situations can easily lead to resentment or heated quarrels.   "A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand."  (Proverbs 27:15-16). But two simple words can change that whole situation, 'thank you'.  "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22).  It is amazing how thankfulness can not only change the situation but also affect each person's mental and emotional perspective. I love witnessing that same couple when the wife simply says "thank you."  The simple act of saying "thank you" changes the atmosphere so drastically from hostile to warm, loving, welcoming, and encouraging.  I have moments where I've had to stop and consciously kill those judgmental words of decay.  And I have learned, the hard way, that using less words and intentionally conveying positivity are powerful tools in one's marriage.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8).

Being Positive

"An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels." ~Proverbs 18:1 

When around a negatively minded person it is easy to feel drained and slightly depressed. I see those seasoned couples with the nagging wife and a warn down husband. "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." ~ Proverbs 17:22. It is easy to recognizing what went wrong and what perpetuates these sad relational interactions; it is easy to say at least I am not like that.

That may be true, but negativity is not just shown outwardly in front of one's husband. It can also be shown through how one talks about their husband to others. Speaking negatively, complaining or gossiping about your husband is a sin which causes others to think negatively of your husband and it permeates your mental and emotional attitude toward him.

I have heard that negativity isn't always there from the start; in most cases it starts with a knock on the door and creeps in slowly thought by thought; once you open the door a crack, unless you surrender the thoughts to God, they will rule you. That one thought or dwelling on that one mistake can snowball into passive aggressive, audible mumbling instead of communication through love. I have had my moments in this realm and if I don't surrender these thoughts they would indefinitely lead me to outward public displays of negativity embarrassing myself and my husband.

Our perceptions of our husbands will effect our mood and demeanor, creating a positive or negative home environment. We are called to be a crown and a blessing to our husband not a drain or embarrassment. "A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." ~ Proverbs 12:4

Always a Student

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." ~Luke 11:9-13

We are bombarded daily by endless amounts of information, whether we want it or not. This can easily lead to blocking out the information or automatically believing it, instead of questioning and researching what we are reading and hearing. As children we have this natural instinct to ask questions, seek to understand, and find the truth. This natural instinct seems to be dulled from years of learning, watching, maturing and aging. Life experiences can easily create stubborn and defensive hearts blocking inquisitiveness. As a Christian we must remember a wise person is one who seeks the truth continually. Asking questions is essential for growth and development and yet we resist it persistently. And sometimes we are just plain lazy; "The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly." ( Proverbs 15:14), this is one of many examples that continuous runs throughout the book of proverbs. Worldly habits, such as resistance or laziness, can permeate into our Christian lives keeping us trapped in routines of meaningless motions and lead us down a dark path of compromises. The one thing that keeps us from such a direction is the act of being aware; the mindset of continuously re evaluating and asking ourselves the hard questions; and always going back to the word for reassurance and understanding.

"Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." ~Acts 17:11

My Modern Day God

The idols of today, are unlike the ones of ancient times for those idols seem more straightforward and less complicated. Nowadays, idols are different for each person, and have become more hidden and personal. They might not include kneeling in worship or animal sacrifices, but they do direct us away from God and bog our hearts down with earthly concerns and desires. I have this thinking pattern that if I have access to something I am wasting it if I am not utilizing it's full capacity. And somewhere down the line this belief turned into 'if I spent all this money then I should be using it as much as I can.' Breastfeeding gave me the excuse to do just that, but it permeated into other facets of my time.

My moment of conviction came when I unknowingly knocked my phone into a soapy bowl of water. (I had been checking a recipe on facebook while cooking.) I was flooded with the feeling of disappointment, self anger, foolishness, sadness to near depression, and worry upon discovering what I had done. After a day of prayer, meditation and feeling terrible, I realized that my phone and social media had become an idol to me. I felt convicted by the Spirit to fast from facebook and I knew the best way for me to follow through with that conviction was to get a cheap phone that couldn't support the apps I had on my old phone. "Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free." (Psalm 118:5) I am on my phone less and after a week of being off of facebook, I am giving myself once a week to go on it. I realize that things (God's blessings) are not bad of themselves but "his blessing bring us wealth and not pain or toil." (Proverbs 10:22) I got to a point where I would pick up my phone and just be nauseous and feel gross like I hadn't changed my clothes in three days; I would get headaches, hand cramps and eye pain. Since fasting and having a lesser phone, all of those things have gone away. Reflecting back and reflecting on how I feel now, I can say that I feel a new freedom I had available to me all along but never utilized (Matthew 11:28-30). Now I am free from a mental bondage and emotional burden that had controlled me and trapped me in my addiction.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)