A Thankful heart

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."                                           (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Have you ever witnessed a judgmental person responding to a job done not to their satisfaction?  It is disheartening to watch and you can’t help but feel powerless. In a situation like this, most of us will do one of two things--clam up and internalize it or lash out and be defensive. Let's imagine the judgmental party to be a wife and the other person to be her husband. I can only guess that a husband in such a situation like this would feel powerless and unappreciated, for example.  Such situations can easily lead to resentment or heated quarrels.   "A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand."  (Proverbs 27:15-16). But two simple words can change that whole situation, 'thank you'.  "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22).  It is amazing how thankfulness can not only change the situation but also affect each person's mental and emotional perspective. I love witnessing that same couple when the wife simply says "thank you."  The simple act of saying "thank you" changes the atmosphere so drastically from hostile to warm, loving, welcoming, and encouraging.  I have moments where I've had to stop and consciously kill those judgmental words of decay.  And I have learned, the hard way, that using less words and intentionally conveying positivity are powerful tools in one's marriage.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8).

Being Positive

"An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels." ~Proverbs 18:1 

When around a negatively minded person it is easy to feel drained and slightly depressed. I see those seasoned couples with the nagging wife and a warn down husband. "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." ~ Proverbs 17:22. It is easy to recognizing what went wrong and what perpetuates these sad relational interactions; it is easy to say at least I am not like that.

That may be true, but negativity is not just shown outwardly in front of one's husband. It can also be shown through how one talks about their husband to others. Speaking negatively, complaining or gossiping about your husband is a sin which causes others to think negatively of your husband and it permeates your mental and emotional attitude toward him.

I have heard that negativity isn't always there from the start; in most cases it starts with a knock on the door and creeps in slowly thought by thought; once you open the door a crack, unless you surrender the thoughts to God, they will rule you. That one thought or dwelling on that one mistake can snowball into passive aggressive, audible mumbling instead of communication through love. I have had my moments in this realm and if I don't surrender these thoughts they would indefinitely lead me to outward public displays of negativity embarrassing myself and my husband.

Our perceptions of our husbands will effect our mood and demeanor, creating a positive or negative home environment. We are called to be a crown and a blessing to our husband not a drain or embarrassment. "A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." ~ Proverbs 12:4

Always a Student

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." ~Luke 11:9-13

We are bombarded daily by endless amounts of information, whether we want it or not. This can easily lead to blocking out the information or automatically believing it, instead of questioning and researching what we are reading and hearing. As children we have this natural instinct to ask questions, seek to understand, and find the truth. This natural instinct seems to be dulled from years of learning, watching, maturing and aging. Life experiences can easily create stubborn and defensive hearts blocking inquisitiveness. As a Christian we must remember a wise person is one who seeks the truth continually. Asking questions is essential for growth and development and yet we resist it persistently. And sometimes we are just plain lazy; "The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly." ( Proverbs 15:14), this is one of many examples that continuous runs throughout the book of proverbs. Worldly habits, such as resistance or laziness, can permeate into our Christian lives keeping us trapped in routines of meaningless motions and lead us down a dark path of compromises. The one thing that keeps us from such a direction is the act of being aware; the mindset of continuously re evaluating and asking ourselves the hard questions; and always going back to the word for reassurance and understanding.

"Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." ~Acts 17:11

My Modern Day God

The idols of today, are unlike the ones of ancient times for those idols seem more straightforward and less complicated. Nowadays, idols are different for each person, and have become more hidden and personal. They might not include kneeling in worship or animal sacrifices, but they do direct us away from God and bog our hearts down with earthly concerns and desires. I have this thinking pattern that if I have access to something I am wasting it if I am not utilizing it's full capacity. And somewhere down the line this belief turned into 'if I spent all this money then I should be using it as much as I can.' Breastfeeding gave me the excuse to do just that, but it permeated into other facets of my time.

My moment of conviction came when I unknowingly knocked my phone into a soapy bowl of water. (I had been checking a recipe on facebook while cooking.) I was flooded with the feeling of disappointment, self anger, foolishness, sadness to near depression, and worry upon discovering what I had done. After a day of prayer, meditation and feeling terrible, I realized that my phone and social media had become an idol to me. I felt convicted by the Spirit to fast from facebook and I knew the best way for me to follow through with that conviction was to get a cheap phone that couldn't support the apps I had on my old phone. "Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free." (Psalm 118:5) I am on my phone less and after a week of being off of facebook, I am giving myself once a week to go on it. I realize that things (God's blessings) are not bad of themselves but "his blessing bring us wealth and not pain or toil." (Proverbs 10:22) I got to a point where I would pick up my phone and just be nauseous and feel gross like I hadn't changed my clothes in three days; I would get headaches, hand cramps and eye pain. Since fasting and having a lesser phone, all of those things have gone away. Reflecting back and reflecting on how I feel now, I can say that I feel a new freedom I had available to me all along but never utilized (Matthew 11:28-30). Now I am free from a mental bondage and emotional burden that had controlled me and trapped me in my addiction.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)

Rest

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him,” ~Psalm 62:2

As a parent, I find that I am more aware of the ugliness of Sin and also the beautiful aspects of God and His love for us.  For those who are unaware of this, sin in children is blatant and very difficult to overlook.  I am constantly reminded of different proverbs as I watch my children grow, learn, and interact with others.  (For children have not yet learned what adults have, to hide their sin from those around them.)  I feel at times my children’s outward behavior mirrors my ugly inward rants and tantrums.  Recently, I was granted the privilege of experiencing attributes of God’s love but in the context of Motherhood, and through the ugliness of my own sin.  My youngest was restless and cranky, unable to lay down and be still on my lap while I was doing work so she didn’t have my full attention.  I knew instinctively that she needed “rest” but I was busy and pre-occupied.  She did not just need “sleep” but also a feeling of comfort and security that only I, and my full attention, could provide her.  So I set aside my work and turned my full attention to my restless little one; I offered her my lap, which she gladly accepted.  Upon entering my arms her restlessness just melted away and a sense of peace, joy, and security washed over her and overwhelmed my heart.  Seeing that instant transformation in her face and change in her demeanor made me realize this is just a fraction of what God experiences when I come back to him and curl up in his lap, cradled in his arms, relishing in his loving embraces.  My experience did not stop there—as I rocked my youngest in our lazy boy chair my oldest nestled in at her sisters’ feet half on my lap half on the arm of the chair.  As the youngest fell asleep (which did not take long) my oldest and I sang children songs.

“All the lands are at rest and at peace they break into singing.” ~Isaiah 14:7

 For me, the songs were a form of worship even though they were not “Christian” or “worship songs”—in my heart it was an act of thankfulness, and gratitude for the ability to be mentally and spiritually present in this moment. My thoughts were with my girls and enjoying that moment (it was as if when I sat down and watched my youngest melt in my arms all my worries and concerns and tasks became non-existent).

Later that night my husband and I read from “Abiding in Christ” by Andrew Murray.  There was one particular sentence that jumped out at me as if God was speaking to me through Andrew Murray’s words. The message I took from this sentence was a reminder of what that moment truly was and how to personally get back to that state in my relationship with God.

“Retire frequently with Him into the inner chamber of the heart, where the gentle voice of the spirit is only heard if all is still.” (Abiding in Christ. Andrew Murray)

The Lord longs to hold us and embrace us and give us His rest.  (Mathew 11:24)  Indulge Him and he will heap blessings upon us.

To Sing is to Praise

I am sure most of us have said “I can’t sing.”  And maybe we feel like we can’t, especially when comparing ourselves to professionals.  But really, everyone CAN sing.  Some people choose not to out of embarrassment or shyness, or disappointment, etc.  I am not the exception—I have uttered the above sentence more then I can count in my short life time so far.  I grew up with a step-father who informed me at a very young age that listening to music was OK but singing was not.  He his words succeed in stopping me from singing in the car or at home when he was there but there was one place he couldn't stop me and that was at school where 

I joined the choir. I remained a member of it all through elementary school, but sadly ended there for a long while. 

After becoming a Christian and a mother, that desire to sing was aroused once more.  It keeps me at peace while rocking my children at 3 a.m.; it puts them asleep when I put them down for naps and bed time.  I now watch my three year old make up her own songs.  This has made me realize how much singing is a natural, innate a part of us like an involuntary reaction.  

Specifically, I sing different Psalms, songs of deep praise to a Father who loves the world.  David understood singing and worship in a way that most of us struggle to. He knew that singing is a powerful act of worship of God, all that He is, and all that He does.  God also doesn't care that I am not a good singer or that any of us are 'good' singers.  What He cares about is the praise He receives from us all and that we worship Him with all of our heart from the bottom of our heart.

Remember next time you are afraid to sing that singing is an act of worship, a pleasing aroma to the Lord.  He is not paying attention if you’re off tune or tempo He is looking at your heart. 

“I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.” (Psalm 9:1-2)

The Family of God

There are a variety of people that we interact with daily; we place these people in categories like strangers, acquaintances, friends, family, etc.  It is easy to let these categories affect how we treat them.  But if they are in Christ they are our family no matter how we classify them.  And they should be treated accordingly.   If they are not Christians we are to be a light to them showing through our actions the fruit of the spirit. God has blessed our lives with these people, Christian or not, and He has told us to love everyone as our selves. It is easy to forget this command and ignore the call to love, show patience, and forgive all because of our selfishness and sinfulness.

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”  ~Mark 12:29-32

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”     ~Galatians 5:22-23

People who are not Christians may not be a part of God’s family now but could be in the future.  We don’t know who God is calling to Himself or when.  The rudeness and short tempers of Christians could dissuade or distract these people from His call.  Whether they are family now is not our concern— we must think as if all people are in the family of God and all deserve love, patience, and forgiveness from us as we have received from Christ.  He didn’t know us, we weren’t apart of His family yet and He still died for us, and gave His life up for us trading our sinfulness for His righteousness. 

As God’s people, we should be sharing God’s light and treating everyone as our own family.  Having the mindset that everyone is a part our family may help us learn how to love ALL people not just those we know even the strangers around us.  Love brings peace, understanding, and great wisdom to those who listen to the Spirit daily.

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” ~Colossian 4:5-6